the EMILY HAS CONQUERED NANO open post

[iluvroadrunner6]

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[gambled_ourmistakes]

Reasons Why Rifts Suck - a commentary by Damian Jericho.

While the reasons why rifts happen to suck are many and probably are far to expansive for this particular commentary there are several that are coming to mind after the end of the world, and they are listed as follows:

One, when he jumped through the big ominous rift at the end of the world with his pack, he expected to land in the same place with his pack. Not down the actual rabbit hole to land in the realm of smoking caterpillars and a large talking cat that the canine in him strongly dislikes.

Two, it did not need to mess with his natural werewolf abilities. He was happy with his second snake form. It did not need to change it into a dachshund of all things.

Though, if he is to be completely honest with himself, this is much much better for his cute factor than his previous second form. All the same, it's just weird.

Three, while he appreciates cluing him into this change in events so early on in his arrival in Wonderland, as well as the fact that he seemed to find a rather pretty companion who picked him up simply because he's cute, it could have picked a much more opportune moment to turn him back into a person again.

Especially if there was an option where clothing was available.

So sorry, Alice. Have a very tall, very naked werewolf who was formerly a dachshund and really does still want to be your friend.

"Hi." He smiles. "I can explain."

[adventures_in]

Oh. That is not a puppy.

Briefly, her mouth curves down into a pout because she had liked that sweet little puppy. As her eyes drift up (and up and up, Alice is short and he is giant in comparison) the pout shifts into something resembling a smile. Or a smirk. It's hard to tell when the expressions are so similar.

For the sake of propriety, of which Alice has very little, she shrugs out of her long burgundy and black jacket -- a cast off relic of the Hatter, so much more intricate and elaborately detailed than her simple blue dress -- and holds it out for him to take and attempt to cover up some of his more... private bits.

"Haven't you realized yet, love. We're in Wonderland. No explanations required."

[gambled_ourmistakes]

Damian appreciates your small sense of propriety, Alice, and eagerly takes the jacket to slip it on. Thankfully, he and the Hatter were the same build, and he was able to button it in the front.

"Thank you," he nods. "And ... even for a naked man who went from dachshund to human right before your eyes?

[adventures_in]

"Well, I would have liked to keep you as a small but adorable pet, they're quite fashionable nowadays, so I suppose an explanation as to why I haven't got a puppy would be nice," she admits with a shrug, reaching forward to take his arm and finish their walk to her house.

Wonderland is ridiculous, but he's bound to be arrested for walking about in nothing but the Hatter's coat. Especially when said Hatter came by asking for it back.

Alice's dresses will not fit this former puppy.

"Come along, pup, and tell me this story."

[gambled_ourmistakes]

"Well, I guess to start off, I'm a werewolf." That's always the best place to start. "Werewolves where I'm from have two forms. Apparently my second one is a tiny dog."

[adventures_in]

"An adorable tiny dog," Alice corrects firmly. "Quite darling. I daresay precious if your manly ego would allow such a thing."

She doesn't seem at all surprised or concerned that he's a werewolves. She's read books about them so she knows she should be, but her best friend is an absolute mad man and her profession of stealing things from everyone and anyone under the sun leads her to parry with many unsavory people.

After the Queen of Hearts she can't find it in herself to be put off by much. "Have you heard of Wonderland before." Some people do, it would be a delight.

[gambled_ourmistakes]

"I think my ego can work with precious."

It could be far worse that precious, but that's a discussion to have before today. He pauses for a moment before nodding slowly. "I watched a movie ... once. A long time ago."

[adventures_in]

"There's a film!" How wonderfully exciting! "Oh how very wonderful. I wonder who wrote it. Was is that Lewis fellow, I knew him when I was a little girl. I never dreamed Wonderland would be a film, though."

[gambled_ourmistakes]

"No. Lewis wrote the book. Many, many people made it into several movies, some more successful than others." And some ... much creepier than others, thank you Tim Burton.